It's 2:30 in the morning and I am going to tell you as many secrets as I can until I am bare and clean and empty as the day I was born.
- I was never good at handball.
Layman Observations of Major League Soccer
- It is hard to tell which goalie is one what team.
Work
I worked in the rain this weekend. My unpaid internship starts to feel more and more unpaid as the days goes go by and, four months in, I really needed to stay afloat. So I started looking for jobs that could subsidize my thrice weekly LA trips, preferably on the weekends. With a little luck, I landed an usher job at a nearby outdoor stadium. Its got nothing to do with my hopes and dreams and I am surely overqualified. But these are the things we do to stay afloat.
Of course, I wasn't about to go hating myself and my job. I reserved that black part of my heart for retail. At the very least, in this position, I wasn't tricking anyone into buying things they didn't need. I wasn't pressured to hit certain sales numbers by any means necessary. And, all things considered, I was pretty lucky to have any meager amount of money. It is about time that I get out of the well of self-pity and join the rest of the world.
The Severity of My Issues
I had the weirdest fucking dream a week ago and had to record it, and yes, even publish it, while I still had such vivid detail trapped in my nightmare skull. And this was before I saw INCEPTION. I know dream blogging is not the most creative, original exercise, but we all have to hit the cliches at least once, right? It went something like this:
First, my parent's bedroom had recently become filled with poorly caged animals. As in, they were not being stocked correctly. For whatever reason, they had a cage filled to the brim with snakes, plenty of cages full of cats, mouse cages where the mice were easily walking and out of the grating, and generally chaotic.
Also, there was Marmaduke.
Blogging Too Hard
What year is it? 2010? Holy shit. I've been on this blog for four years.
In just over four years, I've written nearly 100 long essay-style posts, 111 posts in total including videos and early bullshit, and have drastically changed the layout/graphics of the site at least 5 times. It all started because I wanted a place to type.
I feel like I should explain something about this blog, first. It is narcissistic, but not because I want all eyes on me and my words and lookathowmuchIcantype. No. It is narcissistic because it purely serves me, my needs and whims. It is my brain dump and mindpressure valve. Sure, I could just keep all this in a secret text file on my flash drive. But then I wouldn't have the fear.
The fear is that someone might read these 100 post I've written up at late hours of the night in different years of my life. But that fear also forces me to put some quality control on these posts. I write better knowing that someone out there, likely someone I know, is watching. Make no mistake: everything posted here is a first draft. But I think these writing exercises have made my first drafts better.
Additionally, hearing from people in real life that they read this blog is both gratifying and terrifying.