This ridiculous piece came together mostly because I wanted to write something vaguely more creative but still promotional. I understand and am happy with my promotional role on See South Bay, but I was curious to see how far I could go off-brand. It felt good. I'm not glad I ate these things, but I'm glad I got to write about them and just be an absurdist fake journalist for an afternoon. Hopefully I'll get to be a little looser on things like this.